blogging more once I got a laptop! Yes, I did get a laptop! ^_^ I got it a couple weeks ago, and I LOVE it!! :) But I am ashamed of myself, considering that I was all like, "Oh, if I get a laptop, I'll blog more!" Aaaand...this is the first post since I got it. lol :P
Anyway, not much has been happening in my life lately. (I feel like I say that every time! Goodness. My life must be boring!) ;)
I still LOVE my job :) I mean, of course I have the normal feelings of "ugh...I don't want to go to work!!" and "C'mon...can 2:00 get here any more slowly???" But whenever I think of my job, it is only with fondness. So that must be a good sign! :)
Lately I've been greatly enjoying my amazing camera! I've gotten to do some fun photo shoots with some awesome people! And I have another one coming up this weekend! I'm lovin' it... :)
Speaking of which, I have yet another new blog! It's a photography blog so I have somewhere other than Facebook to post my pictures. Lol :) Check it out if ya like! It's called "Through the Lens of the Beholder" (I know, I know...it sounds extremely cliche, but it's the best I could come up with :P ) And I know I'm no professional, by any means. But I love practicing and I appreciate all the opportunities people are giving me. :)
So, for a while I was thinking that this coming summer was going to be extremely boring. (Well, except for going to GBC.) I'm not going on any missions trips; GBC coincides with WOL camp, so I can't do that; I'm not going to the beach or anything; we're not joining a pool; and just basically...nothing is happening. And compared to last summer...it just seemed pretty pathetic. But then I realized that this summer will be RELAXING! :D And I've been super tired lately, so ya know...what's so awful about having a slow-paced summer? :) I'll get to read SO MUCH MORE (booyah!), work on my quilt (finally!), journal, practice my photography skills, exercise more, and maybe hang out with some of my friends a little more frequently! :) So, it won't be too bad after all. :) And I still get to enjoy the highlight of my summer...working at my favorite camp ever! :):)
Speaking of which...it will be vastly different this year! The camp director called me a couple weeks to ask if I could work at teen weeks because the weeks I had requested were filled up. I said yes (somewhat reluctantly, I'll admit). The difference here is that the age group I usually work with at camp is 2nd-7th grade. This year I'll be with 7th-12th grade! So...some of the campers will be my age! O.o (I'll be with one of the youngest cabins, though.) But even though I'm extremely nervous...that's usually a sure sign that God will use this in my life to help me grow. And I need some growing this year. I'm actually getting to the point where I like it when God gets me out of my comfort zone, though! How weird is that? :D So basically, the bottom line is: I'm freaking out and excited at the same time. :)
Okay well, I wasn't sure if I should write about this or not...but all day I've been feeling like I should, so maybe God wants me to? I don't know...but I'll just do it! lol :)
Lately, I've been dieting and exercising (okay...put the emphasis more on the dieting part, not so much on the exercising part....I'm lazy :P ) But anyway, I've lost some weight (yay! ^_^) and I just feel healthier in a way....I guess cutting out unhealthy foods can do that to a person! :)
So, this is a good thing! But the thing that isn't so good is that it can so easily become an obsession. And I'll admit...that's pretty much what happened. For a while, I was really feeling down all the time. I wasn't satisfied with my body. I felt lonely. I was sick of having to watch everything I ate, but definitely didn't want to give it up. And I just felt...unhappy.
But then a couple of days ago, I realized the problem. I was definitely putting more emphasis on this diet (my physical appearance) than on my relationship with God (my inward appearance). And which one is more important? My inward appearance. I already knew that...but I just needed to shift my focus. So, I got it straight with God, and I've been trying to work on focusing on my relationship with Him more. But I'm still struggling with it SO much!! Because here's the thing: the easy answer would be to forget the diet and whatnot, and just not think about that stuff. But I can't do that, because I still want to be healthy! And that's biblical, too! But I need to prioritize. I can't be idolizing the diet and pushing Him to the side! HE needs to come first. Above all else.
Another thing I need to remind myself of: Will I be more useful to God if I'm thin and "pretty", but all messed-up and self-absorbed on the inside? Or if I'm not "perfect" on the outside, but I'm striving for holiness and to be more like Jesus? I'm going to go with the latter. :)
It may sound like I've got it all figured out...but to be honest, I'm partially figuring this out as I'm typing it! This is going to continue to be a constant battle for me. But now that I've realized the problem, I think I'm on the right path. :)
Well, it certainly felt nice to get that off my chest! :P And now I need to go to bed...(that's another thing I need to work on...getting more sleep! lol)
Thanks for reading my ramblings! :) ipml! (especially this summer when I have "nothing to do"!) ;)
~Beth
Proverbs 31:30
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
