when we were singing, one of the songs we sang was 'your grace is enough'. all i could think about while we were singing was how for all those people in mexico (and all over the world) that have nothing, God's grace REALLY is enough! they appreciate Him and his grace so much more than i do. the chorus just says:
your grace is enough
your grace is enough
your grace is enough for me.
and i kept thinking, "ya know, for ME His grace isn't enough! i always want MORE! it's always ME ME ME!!!" but i shouldn't need more! God's grace is amazing, and it SHOULD be enough for me! i don't know why i'm so selfish! i seriously need to start focusing more on God and others around me more than myself. and by 'others around me' i don't mean focusing on boys, and my bffs, i mean, i need to pay attention to them, but i'm talking about people that are in need. going to mexico and seeing all the poverty just really opened my eyes. i just can't get over how most of the people there that were so poor still seemed to have so much joy! the kids were thankful for getting a little sticker on their hand, for cryin' out loud! can't you just imagine trying to give a sticker to a kid here in america? most kids here wouldn't be satisfied with that! they need more! and i'm guilty of that exact thing, i'm not just talking about OTHER ppl. like, i EXPECT to get stuff for my bday and christmas, and when i don't get what i was EXPECTING i'm always disappointed. that's just how it is here for most ppl, we always need MORE! enough is never enough....
and the sad thing is that i'm writing all of this b/c i'm thinking about it and i'm in a 'godly' mood. ya know? like, i'll go to church this sunday and i'll be focusing on all the same stuff i always focus on - my friends, what the popular girls are wearing, who i'm just dying to talk to after the service is finally over, and so on. and i always feel bad for thinking like that, but i never DO anything about it! oh, and i just realized that i'm sitting here at the computer and i haven't even done my quiettime today! i'm going to do it right after i finish this post.
i just don't know how to get myself to WANT to focus on God! like, i WANT to have an amazing relationship with Him, but i just DON'T!! and i don't know how to WANT to do my quiettime, and WANT to think about Him when i'm singing during praise and worship, and WANT to actually pay attention to what the speaker is saying and think about God. i've asked Him to help me in these areas, but i guess i'm not actually trying. i think that's the thing, i always EXPECT Him to do things FOR me, and He can, but He wants me to work at it too.
anyway, i'm gonna go spend some time with Dios (God). sorry for totally dumping my feelings all over this post =)
ipmt (lol =)
~beth
4 comments:
You know everything we do in this life is a choice. I believe if we make the choice to honor God with our thoughts and actions He will give us the desire to do it. Keep praying and trying you will be rewarded. You are a very smart and sensitive girl. You should be proud! Remember God loves you~
thank you very much, nancy! i think you're right about making the choice first. but i just never know if i'm just saying something in my mind, or if i actually mean it.
anyway, thank you again!
~beth
What a post Beth! I think if most of us were honest, we would feel the same way you mention here. We say we want a better relationship with God, but we don't do anything to improve it.
James said, 'Shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works...For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also.'
You are on the right track. As we acknowledge our sin and/or where we need improvement, we begin to change (by God in us) and conform more into the image of Christ. It is a constant struggle with all of us, so don't let it get you down. Let it encourage you to rely on God's help as you continue to mature as a Christian.
God Bless...
Tim
thanks for your encouragement mr. waldrop! i appreciate it =)
~beth
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